


When Words Fail

by thesatanistauthor



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post ep. 24, fluff???, spoilers for ep 24
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 11:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18776950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesatanistauthor/pseuds/thesatanistauthor
Summary: When Nico heard that Levi had been in an accident, he feared the worst. He feared Levi was dead.Post episode 24.





	When Words Fail

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda long so feel free to skip my little rant haha- 
> 
> Look, we all know that Grey's will never give us that dramatic run and hug for Levi and Nico. We know they aren't going to give us what we want. So, if they aren't going to write it, I will. Simple.
> 
> This is a very brief outline on what I would like to happen during the finale. I want Levi to be okay. I want Nico to freak when he hears that Levi was involved in an accident. I want that dramatic hug. I want to see Nico emotional over Levi. I know we won't ever get that, because the Grey's writers suck ass. 
> 
> I don't know. I just want to see them happy together again and I highly doubt that we will get that. A girl can dream.

Nico let out a stressed sigh as he slipped off his rubber gloves, discarding of them in the bin beside him. He needed a moment to breathe, yet again. He was alone, being the last one to scrub out the surgery. Webber's little speech to him gave him so perspective on the world around him, now that he finally had some time to take it in. That strange feeling of guilt sat deep in his stomach, festering, knowing how many people he'd snapped at the past few days.

 

He hadn't ever meant to get snappy at anyone. Not Teddy, not Levi, not Taryn, not Richard. It was like he knew it was going to happen but there was nothing to stop him. It was as if he was trapped in his own mind and he was screaming to be let out but something was keeping him trapped in there, with someone else- someone who wasn't him- controlling his every word. 

 

He stared blanky out at the theatre in front of him, eyes fixed on the now empty room. Just a few days ago, he'd been standing there, staring down at the man he had just killed, with no idea what to do next. He wasn't even sure it was real half of the time- not until someone just had to remind him about it. Everyone knew- news spread fast at Grey-Sloan. Especially news like that. 

 

With a heavy sigh, he shook himself back into harsh reality. There were patients he needed to tend to. Obviously, quite a lot, considering how much his pager was going off. He checked it, brows furrowed deeply together. 

 

911\. All hands on deck. 

 

He wondered how long he'd been off in his own world, ignoring the shrill beep that broke the empty silence around him. He cursed beneath his breath as he set off, rushing out to get to the ER as fast as he could without tripping or smacking into anyone else.

 

What he hadn't expected was the sheer volume of patients that were hovering around the ER. Both patients and people waiting to hear what had happened, waiting to hear about their loved ones. 

 

He looked around, slightly overwhelmed by everything until he spotted Bailey, who was trying to desperately (and unsuccessfully) to calm an anxious bunch of people who were waiting to hear news on their loved ones. He jogged over to aid her, hoping he could disperse the crowd so the ER would be an easier place to navigate. 

 

"Please, we will update you when we know what is happening! Can you all please-" Bailey tried to yell over the crowd but they just weren't listening. 

 

"I want to know if my daughter is here!" An obviously distressed woman called out, many of the others agreeing with her. Bailey let out a frustrated sigh, knowing it was a useless attempt trying to get through to them.

 

She was about to speak up again and try her best, only to have Nico speak up before she could get a single word out. "Everyone, if you are uninjured you need to leave and go wait! We need to get the patients through and treat them as fast as we can, but we can't do that with you in the way. If you could all make sure you are clear of the ambulance bay and the ER, that will be great. We will update when we know what is happening and who we have!"

 

The crowd seemed to listen to Nico as they tuned in to what he was saying, the crowd slowly and hesitantly beginning to disperse just moments after he finished. Bailey turned to face Nico, giving him a thankful smile as she placed her hand on his arm. 

 

"Thank you, Dr. Kim! I thought they would never leave!" She huffed out in relief before regaining her composure, snapping herself back into work mode. Then, her face dropped as she looked up at Nico, her hand coming up to rest over her chest.

 

"Dr. Bailey, are you alright?" Nico questioned, reaching out to rest his hands on Bailey's shoulders to steady her. 

 

Bailey shook her head, sucking in a sharp breath. "The pile-up- They were in it. We haven't seen them yet and we don't know-"

 

"Wait, who was in the pile-up?"

 

"Dr. Hunt and Schmitt," Bailey paused, watching how the words hit Nico. All color drained from his face as he took a stumbling step back, brows furrowing as he glanced down at his feet. Then, he looked back up, his eyes desperate. "They went to get the donor patient for Gus. They were coming back when the pile-up started. We're sure they are in it, we just don't know-"

 

Nico stopped Bailey, holding his hand out in front of him. Bailey tried to talk again, only for Nico to hush her. A look of confusion crossed her at Nico's actions, only for it to melt into something more offended as she shifted her weight on her feet, crossing her arms over her chest. Nico squeezed his eyes shut as he steadied his breathing. 

 

This couldn't be happening.

 

Bailey noticed the switch in Nico's demeanor. It wasn't usual to see Nico so worked up over something. The ER was still racing around them, people sobbing and yelling out in pain, so much so that no one could quite think clearly. Nervous chatted drifted around as Nico tried to make sense of everything. The constant sound of the doors hissing open and close was slowly beginning to drive him insane, knowing that Levi could come through them at any moment, but as a potential patient.

 

"Nico?" Bailey snapped her fingers in front of him, bringing him back to the present. He blinked a few times before he finally seemed to realize where he was. 

 

"Is he- Do you- Are they okay?"

 

"I don't know, Nico. We have heard nothing from them. We have no clue whether they are injured, fine, or even-"

 

"Don't say dead. Don't you dare say dead," Nico's mind raced with those sour and bitter thoughts. If Levi was seriously injured, or even dead, he had no clue what he would do. "The last thing I said to Levi was something I truly regret. What if I don't get to see him again, what if I don't get to tell him I'm sorry?" Nico was slowly beginning to panic, which would be the worst case scenario for everyone right now. Bailey glanced around, desperately trying to figure out what to do. 

 

Bailey let out a short grunt of frustration as she stomped her foot on the ground, just like a child would. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair at all and Nico did not deserve to lose someone else; Especially someone he loved so dearly. Bailey was just as worried as Nico for Levi's safety, as well as Owen and the patient. Bailey adored Levi; she wouldn't say it out loud to anyone but Levi was her favorite intern. He reminded her so much of George. So much. 

 

Losing him would be like losing O'Malley all over again and she didn't know if she could cope with that. 

 

"Right, Nico, I need you to stop and take a few deep breaths, okay? Neither of us can panic here as we have people to save. I'm sure that Levi, and Owen, and the patient- I'm sure they are all fine!" It came out a little shakier than she intended, her voice raising at the end. Nico nodded his head frantically, taking a few deep breaths as Bailey had instructed. After a few moments, they both felt a little calmer. 

 

"If you find him, page me. Please."

 

"Same goes for you, Dr. Kim."

 

Bailey rushed off into the crowd of patients to begin treating as many as she could. Nico still felt completely disorientated, especially with the news of Levi being in the wreck. If Levi died with the last thing Nico said to him playing in his mind, Nico knew he would never be able to forgive himself. He wanted to hold Levi again, kiss him, tell him how much he fucking adored him. 

 

The mere possibility that it may not ever happen again was enough to make Nico extremely nauseous. 

 

There were people that needed to be helped. He needed to get to work and start saving some lives. If he could do that though, he didn't know. He debated on taking a step back and taking a short break to clear his mind. 

 

No, people needed him. He needed to work.

 

But he couldn't. All he could think about was Levi and where he could possibly be.

 

Little to his knowledge, the three missing people had just turned up at the hospital. Thankfully, they were all pretty much unharmed, apart from a cut or bump here and there. At least, that was all that could be seen on the surface. There could be a whole other load of injuries internally that they would need to be treated for. 

 

The rush of the hospital was perhaps the worst place for Francis to be right now. She was so much more agoraphobic than anyone had ever thought. They needed to get her past the bustling crowd and they needed to get her seen to before they could even think about taking her blood for Gus. That, however, was easier said than done. 

 

"Okay, Schmitt. I'm going to get Francis somewhere that isn't so... This. You need to go and get checked, regardless if you feel fine or not." Owen's eyes scanned over the more than packed ER, knowing it wasn't going to be an easy task getting through it all. 

 

"Are you sure you don't need my help?" Levi asked, completely amazed by how busy the ER was. He'd never seen it quite like this before. It was even worse than when the storm had hit. 

 

Owen swallowed and nodded, taking in a deep breath as he turned his attention towards Francis. If he went through the front entrance, perhaps it would be easier for them both. Trying to navigate through a sea of angry, frustrated, and injured people was a suicide mission. The two of them headed off, leaving Levi to try and squish his way through. His head throbbed and he knew he had a head laceration; it was minor but still, he knew he could need a CT for it. That could wait as right now, Levi needed to get cleaned up and throw himself into the deep end of it all. 

 

Levi managed to push his way through to a small opening where he stopped, taking a moment to check his surroundings. He stopped when he spotted a familiar figure looking lost and panicked in amongst the influx of patients. Levi had never seen Nico look so distressed.

 

At least, not recently. 

 

He could feel himself smile as he watched Nico from afar as he absent-mindedly fiddled with his fingers. He feared he wouldn't see Nico again. He feared that today would be the day that he died. It felt like he just scraped by the grasp of death. He debated on whether he should enter the lottery, considering his luck. 

 

He could tell Nico sighed by the way his shoulders rose and fell as he rested himself against the desk, his head hung low. His foot tapped anxiously against the floor as he rocked back and forth, letting his emotions take control of him, which is something he never did. 

 

Levi couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand seeing Nico so upset. 

 

"Nico!"

 

Nico's head snapped up when he heard his name being called. He stood up straight almost immediately, eyes scanning frantically over the crowd. The voice was one he recognized, one that belonged to someone he adored. Half of him believed he was hearing things, his mind tricking him into believing Levi was here. The other half of him was sure that he actually heard Levi, that he was truly here. 

 

When Nico's eyes finally landed on Levi, the sigh that escaped him was substantial. It was as if he had been holding his breath this entire time, just waiting for that moment when he could finally see Levi again. A couple of patients stared at Levi as he practically bounced up and down on the spot, overjoyed to see Nico. 

 

Nico wasn't going to hold back. There was no point; he feared that Levi was dead or seriously injured and now, he was standing just a few feet in front of him, grinning brightly. Without a moment's hesitation, Nico set off in a sprint towards Levi, managing to dodge and weave through the crowd. Levi also set off, more of a jog than a sprint, but he wanted to meet Nico halfway. 

 

It was difficult to get through the crowd but regardless, Nico was adamant about getting to Levi, so that he could pick him and never put him down again. Nico needed to tell Levi how much he loved him. 

 

When they got close enough, it was almost as if things went in slow-motion. It didn't quite seem real. Levi practically threw himself into Nico's arms, his arms wrapping securely around his neck as Nico scooped him up off the floor, arms snaked tightly around his waist as he lifted him. 

 

The force of them colliding into each other caused Nico to stumble backward but thankfully, he was able to catch himself before they both tumbled to the ground. To keep himself from tumbling, Nico spun Levi round a little, returning him to the ground just moments later. Still, he never pulled back, never let go of Levi. His face was buried deep into the crook of Levi's neck as he took a moment to just breathe him in. 

 

He still didn't quite believe it was real. 

 

One hand came up to rest against the back of Levi's head, the other splayed over the small of his back. He was here. He was really here in Nico's arm. People around them watched on as their curiosity got the better of them, wondering what was going on. However, neither of them could quite care right now. People could stare all they wanted, because they both thought that today would be the end of it all. They both thought that they would never get to see each other ever again; screw being professional, Levi was Nico's only solace right now.

 

"I love you," Nico's words were muffled and rushed. He could already feel the tears stinging at his eyes as they threatened to fall. "I love you so, so much."

 

Levi just nodded as he listened to Nico talk, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he tried his best to keep himself together. They both knew that was impossible. 

 

A harsh sniff sounded from Nico as he held Levi closer, the two of them completely caught up in one another. Nothing around them mattered right now. Nothing else mattered but each other. 

 

"I thought I had lost you," Nico admitted, his voice a mere whimper. "I was so scared."

 

"I'm okay. I'm okay, Nico. I'm here and I'm okay," Levi reassured him, which calmed Nico greatly. Levi was the first to pull back from the embrace, knowing that if he didn't, Nico would never let him go again. He inhaled deeply as he grinned up at Nico, hands rested on his shoulders. The ER was still crowded beyond belief and seeing how upset and emotional Nico was, Levi decided to take him somewhere that was a little more private. 

 

He took him by the hand, guiding him through the people surrounding them. He knew they'd be needed as soon as they could, so Levi wanted to get Nico as calm as possible before they returned. Eventually, he brought Nico to an on-call room, thankful that it was empty and unused. 

 

Levi made sure to lock the door behind them so that no one could walk in and disturb them. He sat Nico down on the bed tucked away in the corner, making sure to switch on the light so they could actually see. 

 

As he sat next to Nico, he reached out and took his hand, giving it a small squeeze of reassurance. 

 

"I was so scared," Nico croaked,  sniffing as he turned his head to look at Levi. "I was so terrified I would never get to see you again. Knowing that the last thing I said to you was so hurtful, knowing that was the last thing you could have heard from me was that- I couldn't take it. I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if that was the last thing you had heard from me."

 

Levi nodded as he took in Nico's words, his thumb gently smoothing over the back on Nico's hand. He sighed deeply, bringing up his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezed shut. 

 

"I'm here," Levi reminded Nico once again, shuffling closer to him. It was silent for a moment as Nico took a second to think, to bring himself back and ground himself. Levi didn't rush him, didn't force him to speak. If he needed time to bring himself to talk, then there was nothing Levi could do to speed it up. 

 

Nico sucked in a shaky breath, holding it for a moment before he exhaled. He carded his fingers through his hair, letting out a sort of sad laugh as he shook his head. "It made me realize how crap I've been to you the past few weeks. All because I was afraid to open up, I was afraid to talk to you-"

 

Nico choked up before he could finish his sentence, bringing up his free hand to quickly wipe the wetness from under his eyes. Levi frowned deeply at this, his heart aching at the sight of Nico so distressed. 

 

Levi dropped Nico's hand, just for a moment, so he could cup Nico's face. Even so, Nico kept his gaze away from Levi, not wanting to look him in the eye. He knew if he did, he would break down completely. That wasn't something he wanted to do right now. 

 

It was silent between the two of them as Levi used the pads of his thumbs to wipe under Nico's eyes. The gesture was simple but it still caused Nico to genuinely smile, even if only for a split second. 

 

"I'm so sorry for what I said, Levi," Nico whispered meekly. Levi dropped his hands from Nico's face, picking his hand back up and bringing the back of it up to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss to the back of Nico's hand. He kept a firm grip on it as he lowered it again.

 

"Hey, it's okay. I understand. You went through something traumatic. I shouldn't have been so pushy with you. I know that I would have wanted you to comfort me if I was in the same situation, but I never stopped to think about how to best approach you about it. I never asked, I just assumed that I could help, but I couldn't. Not in the way I thought, at least."

 

"You helped," Nico paused, watching how a slight grin tugged at the corner of Levi's lips. "You just being there for me, not giving up on me; that was enough. That was more than enough. I admire you, Levi. No matter what life throws at you, you get back up and you keep on fighting. You truly are incredible."

 

Levi let out a shy chuckle as he dipped his head, hiding his face away from Nico. He could feel his cheeks heating up as he began to blush. It never failed to make Nico grin proudly when Levi got flustered because of him. Never. With a happy sigh, Levi rested his head against Nico's shoulder, fiddling with Nico's fingers as he held his hand. 

 

"Thank you," Nico muttered, turning his head just enough to press a kiss into Levi's hair. "For being you."

 

Levi hummed, grinning to himself at the small display of affection from Nico. It was another few moments of shared silence before Nico shifted, causing Levi to sit up and look at him. Nico dropped Levi's hand, brows knitting together as he brought his hands up to cup Levi's face. 

 

"You're hurt," Nico said, voice thick with concern. Levi had completely forgotten about that. Now that he was reminded of it, he could still feel the faint throbbing located just above his left eyebrow. 

 

"It's just a small injury, I'm fine." Levi grabbed Nico's wrist, pulling his hands away from his face. He forced his best reassuring smile for Nico, but it wasn't enough to fool him. 

 

Nico tilted his head to the side, a worried line etched between his brows. Levi tore his gaze away, turning it to where his hands rested in his lap. Nico tried again, lifting his hand cautiously, brushing away the hair that was stuck to the now dried blood. The blood matted the strands together, but that could be sorted later. 

 

It didn't seem serious, nor did it seem deep. It just so happened to be one of those places that bled incredible amounts when nicked. Even so, Nico knew that all head injuries needed to be treated seriously, little or not. 

 

"We need to get you checked out, Levi. I'm not having you randomly die on me because we missed an injury. I don't think I could deal with that, not now. We'll get a CT and MRI, I'll page Amelia and-"

 

"Nico, I know what I need to get done, okay? I'm a doctor too, remember?" Levi rested his hand over Nico's arm, stopping him midsentence. Nico paused for a moment before he muttered a small 'oh', lifting his chin in realization. Nico pushed himself up from the bed, running his hands over his scrubs to straighten them out as he turned around to face Levi. 

 

"Let's go get you sorted then-"

 

"I need to ask you one thing before we go, though."

 

"Okay."

 

Levi let out a nervous sigh as he stood, reaching out to grab Nico's hand, intertwining their fingers together securely. He pursed his lips together tightly as he rocked on the ball of his foot, hoping that Nico wouldn't freak when he asked. 

 

"Are you ready to talk to me?" It was a simple question. A simple question which Levi had been dreading asking Nico. 

 

Nico was silent for a moment as he pondered to himself. After a short while, he let out a sigh as he nodded slowly, almost hesitantly. 

 

"I am. Just, not now. When we get home, we'll talk about it then. Right now, I need to worry about you. Okay? Now can we please go get you checked out before I freak, or before you drop dead in front of me?"

 

Levi just snorted at Nico's comment, using his free hand to lightly smack Nico's arm. Nico took that as a yes, grinning contently as he and Levi made their way out the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah. Give me that angst. Give me that dramatic shit. The Grey's writers are cowards for not giving us more schmico >:(((


End file.
